#I always joked about them being divorced and remarried

[ghostatrandom]

So I'm finally finishing LMK season 3 (left it on stand by all summer lol) and umm I uuh

WHAT IN THE FRUITY LOOPS AM I SEEING HERE HELLOU

[rosemariiaa]

𝙃𝘼𝙇𝙁𝙒𝘼𝙔 𝙎𝙏𝙍𝘼𝙉𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎

“I’m afraid to see what’s in my head , So I lock it up in my heart”

00 𝙋𝙧𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙪𝙚, 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚.

rosie’s note: long awaited pazzi series.. let’s hope I can be consistent with these chapters and not forget about after a few weeks.happy ready lovelies ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings: none!

`✦ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹

I’ve never been great with people. Sure, I can hold a conversation, crack a joke, make some friends. But there’s always this weird distance—like I’m just performing, pretending to be someone I’m not. The truth is, I’m not as confident as people think I am. I hate being vulnerable. But she made it easier.

I still remember the first time i reached out to her. Her message popped up on my computer late one night, while I was scrolling through my Blogspot—my little corner of the internet where I could just… breathe. No one knew who I was on there. Just a girl venting about life, school, basketball, and the tangled mess that was my head.

She said she’d been reading my posts for a while and liked them. She said she didn’t have anyone else to talk to, and honestly, I didn’t either. So we started messaging. At first, it was just random stuff—homework, teachers, the usual teenage nonsense.

But soon enough, she started opening up more. Things I never expected to hear. About her family. Her stepdad. The kids at school who made her feel invisible. She told me how her mom remarried, and how everything felt off after that. I didn’t know why she was sharing all this with me, someone she’d never met, someone who was practically a stranger. But there was something about it. Something that made it feel right.

We got into the deeper stuff too—the insecurities, the self-doubt, the anger at things we couldn’t control. And yeah, I shared my own stuff too. It wasn’t the same, but it was close enough. My parents getting divorced. Moving from place to place. The pressure to be perfect all the time. I guess it’s easier when you don’t have to show your face. She wasn’t some random person to me anymore. She was… real.

She called me “her safe space.” And for some reason, I was okay with that. I think I needed her as much as she needed me, even if I couldn’t admit it back then. It was like she understood me in a way no one else did.

But the thing is, I never told her who I really was. She didn’t need to know I was Paige Bueckers, the basketball player everyone at school thought they knew. She didn’t need know I was just a girl trying to figure out where I fit in all of this.

It was just us. She and I. We could be ourselves without pretending. And that felt… like a goddamn relief.

But that was the thing—she was just an anonymous name on a screen. I didn’t know who she was either. Not really. I only knew what she shared, what she let me see.

Then came that night. The night I saw her name pop up in the chat, just like always. But this time, it wasn’t just her usual message. It was a question. “What if we could meet? Like, in real life?” Oh.

I froze. And my stomach did this weird flip.

I didn’t know how to answer. I didn’t even know if I wanted to. What if she was someone I knew? What if she was someone I was supposed to hate? What if… it was her?

————

tag list ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

@thaatdigitaldiary @patscorner @sierrale8ne @ohbueckers @juspeaks @mrsarnold @d3arapril @authentic-girl03 @absolutelydreadful

[killuintense]

❝ a little bit incorrect ❞

stepdad!leon x fem!reader.

summary: you often find yourself fantasizing about Leon, your stepdad.

content: 3.6k words, smut, really daddy issues (not only in the sexual way yk), p in v, age gap, step daughter x step dad relationship.

note: i hope you like it and always your comments, reblogs and requests are welcome ♡

It was really hard for you to be at your mother's house. She had divorced your father some time ago and it had been difficult for you, because if you were already closed and shy, that situation closed you even more. Especially when your mother remarried that man who, in her words, worked for the government.

You were reluctant to accept someone you didn't know hanging around your house the few times you went to visit your mother; mostly because you had a hard time forgiving her for believing that it would be best to stay with your father until she settled down to find a new apartment to stay in. Apparently she found one and saw you there more often. It didn't bother you, your relationship with your father wasn't the best... and that was the worst part. You had been involved in relationships, one more toxic than the other, because you were looking for in a man what you had never had from him. Some affection, a man to support you.

And when your mother introduced you to Leon, that shyness and shameful behavior was even more unbearable. He was beautiful as hell, piercing eyes, ash blond hair - at times almost brown - and a face so marked with a gaze that while soft, seemed to be tempting you all the time to look at him and look at him. He was kind, very kind, and your mother seemed to be as entranced as you were, taking him by the arm and clinging to him with doe eyes; big and bright. He even tried to introduce himself, something about his name being Leon Kennedy and that he didn't expect you to be such a pretty girl; it was a common compliment, of kindness, but it made you nervous enough that you barely said your name and ran away with the excuse that you had a lot of homework to finish.

Weeks went by, sometimes you saw Leon more often than others, according to your mother because of his work, and you preferred it that way. Since it made you feel very bad when the night came and the only thing on your mind were his arms, those that easily tensed by the muscles when flexing or that through the soft trace of hair you could notice his veins. That chest that you had seen more than once when he was in the pool resting or just out of the shower with a towel around his waist, believing that no one saw him. You almost never spoke to him, you noticed how he tried hard to talk to you, he would throw a couple of bad jokes, and although they were funny because they were very bad, you only let out an uncomfortable chuckle and tried to run away. Your mother never cared, between work and the little time she spent at home to be with Leon, she could never have thought that your thoughts about your stepdad went far, far beyond the fact that he was handsome and that was it.

That's why you were surprised when your mother told you both that she would be out of the country for a few days because of an investigation she had to carry out urgently. Your father had been uninterested and had told you that Leon would surely take good care of you, and your mother thought the same thing, trusting him completely. You were lying on your bed staring at the ceiling trying to figure out how the fuck you would manage to spend so many days with Leon without everything becoming uncomfortable, considering that you were noticing more and more his insistence on wanting to get closer to you and probably be that father figure you were missing so much. You even noticed how he clenched his jaw when you told them that your father would not be taking care of you that week; you felt a warmth in your chest that filled you and made you smile softly, almost imperceptible to his gaze.

You ignored all that, your mother had left in the morning, she had said goodbye to you with an 'I love you' and you blamed yourself again for being such a bad daughter. But when you saw in the distance the two of you give each other a fleeting kiss before your mother disappeared over the threshold, you closed the door with some force and sat down on your bed with the amount of books that awaited you that long weekend to study about college. Though your head couldn't concentrate on the strange relationship your mother had with him, they barely saw each other and while she seemed affectionate with him despite the short time they were together, he seemed to be more focused on his glass of whiskey before her. It was as strange as it was intriguing.

You felt the sound of the wood on your door being knocked softly, causing a sense of confusion and despair to assail you, unable to deny the knock "Mhm.... go ahead" you said, watching as the door opened and blonde hair peeked out. His body was big, muscular and not in the strange way, but rather it made you want to hang onto him and squeeze him completely.

"Honey, are you busy?" he asked, you felt your legs go weak and when he was finally in front of you, with his loving gaze as he leaned nonchalantly against the door frame "You were studying for a long time, do you want to come downstairs and do something?" he offered, and seemed much more relaxed when it came to talking to you. Which relaxed you, because something made you feel different.

"Well..." the truth is you did feel tired and wanted to do or think about something other than those complicated books and that your mother wasn't hanging around the house left you with an open mind that maybe it wasn't so bad to be close to your stepfather, and get to know him better "Okay, I'll listen to you" you laughed and got off the bed stretching, he came over and helped you sort the books and sheets, guiding you to the living room with his hand resting placidly on your shoulder. There were a couple of snacks on the small coffee table in front of the sofa and the TV already set on the streaming service where a myriad of movies were being shown. It was tender for you, he had gone to the trouble of preparing all that even without knowing if you would accept, and a touch of sorrow crossed your mind imagining that if you had refused he would have had to be alone with all that.

"Any ideas to watch?" he asked and settled down next to you with a prudent distance so as not to make you uncomfortable while you quickly thought about what movie you would like to watch.

"What about Scream? but the first movie, my friends won't watch it with me because they say it's too 90's or something stupid like that" you complain, and this makes Leon laugh as he takes remote control.

"It's a classic!" he says as if it were a no-brainer, quickly looking up the movie among the options "The babysitter alone and the killer, it really was a before and after in the slasher genre" you widen your eyes with enthusiasm and smile.

"Isn't that right? That idea of not knowing who is the killer throughout the entire movie keeps you intrigued" you grabbed a can of soda from the table and swung your legs up on the couch, flexing them comfortably so they rested against your chest, feeling the sound of the TV getting louder. Leon seemed to look at you tenderly as he eagerly watched you, settling in just the same, with a can of soda as well. You appreciated that he didn't need alcohol to be with you.

The second movie was starting on TV and you didn't notice when you ended up glued to each other. Leon with his arm around your shoulders and you with your cheek pressed against his chest, while you fiddled between your mouth with the cherry you had taken from the small bowl Leon had prepared. You guess that's when they started talking animatedly intermittently in the movie, making silly and carefree comments without giving much attention to the film; he was as handsome as he was interesting, he knew what questions to ask and when to ask them. And he knew when and how to touch you.

"So you started studying recently" he said, almost affirming, and that caused you a mild thrill because he knew and remembered those little details about you. He turned around almost completely on the couch, looking at you and making you inevitably closer, in a casual way but that both of you inside knew that this was something more than just an innocent approach "I envy you, I really because of my work didn't have time for that" he explained.

"But you're amazing!" you tried not to make your excitement evident in your voice but your hand gave a gentle tap on his shoulder, feeling how hard and firm it was. "I guess it must not be easy working for the government but you do it, seriously you are amazing" you laughed, and he raised both eyebrows in surprise as a hoarse laugh bubbled up deep.

"You know...I was really beginning to think we'd never talk so comfortably, you're difficult, darling" he brought one of his fingers to the free strand of hair that fell to the side of your face, tucking it behind your ear with a caress, you let out a chuckle avoiding his gaze.

"I know... but it's not easy for me to relate so comfortably with men" you mentioned, your cheeks hot from confessing to him something that even with your mother you hadn't talked about. "You know, from my father to my last boyfriend, they were all jerks" you reached for his hand, distracted in what you were saying, fiddling with her long, thick fingers... how would they feel... how would they feel in not so right places but you wanted her to touch? God, you were rambling again.

"You need a real man, don't you?" you felt the compression in his voice, but a possessive edge "Who cares for you, who knows how to treat you... make you feel good, don't you, princess?" the hand that was in his hair cupped your cheek, caressing it gently. That warmth, that feeling... you wanted to faint, it had been so long since someone had treated you with care that you had forgotten how it felt.

"Yes..." came out almost as a gasp, you sought to keep his touch from leaving you by squeezing it with your free hand while the other kept caressing as before. He didn't have his engagement ring. "I can't remember the last time someone treated me gently, it's like I only know how to mess with people who want to hurt me" your voice trembled softly, you were feeling foolish, but your chest felt overflowing. And at the same time you felt your thighs warm, dripping, desperate to be touched; it was two kinds of sensations mixing together that made you feel very strange. The search for a father's love, and at the same time that made you feel more and more attracted to Leon's touch. You didn't want it to stay just that.

"Shh... beautiful, it's okay, I'm here for you" he took you by the waist as if you were nothing, as if you were a feather before his strength, and invited you to sit on his lap. You didn't refuse, you even looked pleased and the lump in your throat disappeared to feel calm. "Now you have me and I won't let anything happen to you, is that clear to you?" he said with a firmness worthy of someone determined, and you bit your lower lip nodding. At that moment you realized how close they were, their breaths colliding and his hand massaging your waist drawing soft circles, trembling from wanting to go lower. His legs were spread comfortably so you could sink into him and if it weren't for the fact that you were gawking into his eyes, you'd say you were feeling something hard crashing against your panties under your light dress.

And you really couldn't stand it, almost at the same time you brought your lips together. A needy kiss full of released tension; you almost moaned as he thrust his hot, expert tongue into your mouth, sucking you like a person hungry for your mouth. As if your mouth was the only source of water in a desert. You weren't going to wait, especially knowing his need for you, so you settled with your knees to the side of his hips and ran your hands over his chest, dying to squeeze, bite, scratch all over his skin.

"I..." he said when you broke apart, both of you shaken and you dripping under your clothes. "Are you sure? This isn't right and..." you silenced him with an even more desperate and daring kiss, you didn't want to hear that part of the speech, you'd already been mortified all those weeks by morbidly thinking about him, about wanting his fingers and maybe something else to ram you mercilessly, and you weren't going to pass up that opportunity just because it 'wasn't right'.

"We'll talk about it later, Leon, please..." you moaned against his lips, feeling him growl low as you sat on his lap smothering his hard member. You heard a hoarse 'fuck it' and he sank you back against the couch pressing his face into your neck hungrily, sucking. You moaned so needy, but his mouth sucked you and left marks that you would have to worry later to cover up, especially as he started down your collarbones, sucking gently as if torturing you before he got to your tits.

"God, you're so soft" he moaned lifting your dress to pull away and look at you while biting his lower lip "Look at that pussy, you're fucking soaking wet" you instinctively closed your thighs and he laughed, squeezing your thighs with desire "You're going to have those legs open for me baby, I promise to take very good care of you, don't you remember?" you stared at him with narrowed eyes because the pleasure of his fingers seeking to brush against you were too much for your admittedly inexperienced body. You timidly spread your legs for him, letting him see even better the wetness in your panties, making him moan with pleasure "Shit..." he ran his tongue over his lips, salivating with the desire to eat you right there.

"Leon, don't punish me like that..." you said with an inevitable soft pout, you were no longer in your five senses and just wanted to beg him and beg him to make you make you scream from the pleasure. As soon as he heard that little tone of yours, he gently pulled down your panties with enviable agility, letting them fall to the floor gracefully; you didn't need that now. Especially since, unlike seconds ago, the provocative Leon became a desperate one, reaching down and placing your legs over his shoulders, on either side of him, brushing his nose against your clit. "Let me know if it's too much, love" he whispered against your wet pussy, blowing gently before you squealed and began to feel a prickling in your belly; and he hadn't even started, holy shit.

His tongue flicked from the beginning of your entrance to your clit, sucking on the nub with devotion, and you were already beginning hear the clicking sounds caused by his mouth and his saliva along with your juices. You moaned and opened your eyes rolling as you crumpled the couch under your desperate fingers. Leon sucked fiercely and soon moved his nimble fingers up your thighs to caress your swollen clitoris, it was slick and sensitive, and him one soon moved them in circles as he sucked your weeping, soft pussy calling for his tongue. Your moans begged him for more and more and your legs tightened locking him in and making him moan now, desperately seeking to get his tongue inside your entrance. He was mumbling nonsense, like an animal devouring the most delicious meat he had ever been given, loving the choking sensation you were giving him. His tongue almost immediately darted into your cunt, penetrating you with a precision worthy of him, as he moved his head from side to side stimulating your clit with his nose.

"Shit, Leon! more, god!" your back arched violently and you felt your dress smothering your swollen breasts. Leon used his hands to hold by your hips so you wouldn't pull away from his tongue, squeezing you so roughly that you felt your fingers sink into your sensitive flesh. His tongue explored your insides and his growls mingled with your incoherent whimpers that were accompanied by small tears at the sides of your eyes, running the make up you had put on in the morning.

Leon soon pulled away, leaving a trail of saliva down your thighs and your juices adorning up to your chin, causing the kisses running down your skin to be wetter. He stood up and his hand freed itself from your hip to run it up and down your slit, groping your throbbing entrance "You are so delicious, I would eat you every day of my life, dammit" his voice was choked, his chest rising and falling erratically and his free hand ripped your dress off in one motion making your tits bounce, with your hard sensitive nipples causing Leon to want to sink his face into them "You're going to be my little girl, aren't you?" you moaned nodding, his fingers on your clit ruining it, pressing you to your doom "A little girl who gives her pussy to daddy every day, shit..." two of his fingers entered your insides and you gasped in surprise, the entry was smooth but you felt the rough and thick that were his limbs, opening you with ease. You squeezed him so hard that he laughed playfully, as he took one of your breasts into his mouth, sucking them desperately as he opened his limbs like scissors and bent them to touch that spot that was making you cry. He used just the right speed and kept moving his thumb up and down in intensity.

"I-I'm gonna cum, Leon, fuck!" you moaned, he massaged one of your nipples with his teeth and moved up with kisses to your cheeks, kissing your tears and wetly pecking your lips. So sweet up there as if he wasn't fucking you so violently down there. Your abdomen contracted and your hand squeezed his hair, his fingers ramming into you making a noise too obscene, wet and sticky, sinking into your pussy so tight it tempted him to want to pull his hard cock out right there and impale you against the couch until you passed out.

"That's it, my baby, let go, let it out, I know you can..." he moaned in your ear, your abomen prickling with waves of pleasure up into your womb and traveling down into your walls that pressed tighter and tighter against Leon's long fingers. You clung to his shoulders digging your nails over his shirt and when you felt it was too much, that you would pass out, your legs trembled and his fingers pushed for one last time into that specific spot causing a surge of heat to spread through your body and the orgasm hit you so hard you saw black for a few seconds, feeling your tense muscles find the climax of relaxation. "That's it love, you did so good for me, you're a good girl" you sobbed at his words and hugged him by the back of the neck sinking your face into his neck.

Naked, ruined, fucked, and Leon kissing your hair as he moved his fingers away from your entrance ever so gently. He gasped and brought his fingers to his lips, savoring that delicious nectar he took so much care to collect; his reward was all too satisfying with that delirious taste on his tongue "Mhm, besides squeezing me so well you taste so delicious..." he moaned holding you, you still calming down.

"God... I feel like 'm gonna die..." you laughed foolishly, you didn't know you got so sensitive after an orgasm, you had never had one like that either; you had never been touched like that. You had hardly ever been touched, in fact. Sex for you was about being penetrated quickly and pretending to like it, but Leon had hardly been interested in it, he only cared about making you come undone under him, and apparently that made him very horny as you could notice the wet spot on his sweatpants. You'd almost say he had cum from tasting you, without even touching himself.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" and after taking you that way he treated you like a diamond, careful and gentle, caressing your waist to comfort you, you still attached to his neck. You nodded complacently and he carried you into the shower to finish making that encounter more relaxing with the warmth of the water.

He would talk about it. Both would have time to regret what they did, for now both only wanted to have each other and you, especially you, wanted to receive all the love and attention that this man had to give you.

[aconflagrationofmyown]

Marie Presley, interview for Rolling Stone Magazine, 1997, introducing her film TLC: The Presley Way

A Sarge & lil Mama blurb, 2nd generation: Marie. word count 2k, PG rating, mentions of divorce

Marie: “You know, I’m used to being asked how it impacted me being the child with the least ‘parental involvement.’ But I really don’t get it, not even when my siblings joke that Elvis was more like Santa to me than dad, a merry-making stranger who showed up once in a blue moon to spread love and cheer before rushing back to the workshop to make more goodies the rest of the year.

“Maybe there’s some truth in that but how was I to know? I didn’t know anything differently than what I had, just like lots of kids you don’t know what else you could’ve had, just like I didn’t know anything different from being very privileged, um, just as my dad didn’t know any different from being very poor.

“But what I do know is that I was very loved, I have been my whole life, and what I have are a treasure trove of memories, extensive amounts of time spent with him at all ages. I look at it this way, we wouldn’t say someone is fatherless just because their dad is gone every day of their life from seven in the morning to six in the evening, that’s a whole lotta time to be gone.

“Whereas I had months on end where I saw Dad from sunup to sundown, slept in my parents bed, ate and played and read with them. Spent time on homework and perhaps most personally impactful, I had my own interests nurtured by them. Dad spoiled me, there’s no question about it, but it wasn’t in the way of rich men giving their kids toys and telling them to then run along, leave them alone.

“Dad engaged with me on everything and anything interesting to me, anything that interested my siblings he would spend hours on it, not even the fun part of say -photography. But the boring details, too. If there was a new camera he would get it for me and together we could figure out how to make it work, how to develop the film, how to get the perfect exposure.

“We’d pour over artists' work and do our best to mimic them. It was play but it was always constructive, and when I think back on those late Vegas afternoons that were his mornings, that he would spend tirelessly engaged with me and my siblings, only to then have to go out and perform multiple times into the night, the adult in me is exhausted and grateful that he took the time. That he did it all so cheerfully that I had no idea how worn out he was.

“The divorce years were hard, I was an eight year old and definitely attuned to the different dynamics in my family. I was very close with my sister Ella who was extremely unhappy at the time, maybe more so than most of my siblings. So her discontent rubbed off on me a little, confused me. But for the most part I didn’t notice a big change, mom and daddy really tried to keep it under wraps, multiple times they insisted there wasn’t a team to pick, and maybe that was too nuanced for the older kids but I got it, I chose not to pick teams.

And before it had lasted very long, we were all back together again.

“Daddy didn’t have a tour, what with Colonel Parker being under investigation, and he stayed home because of Danny, and Daisy and then they got remarried. It was a blip for me really. I got to live with Ella, I got to travel around with Jesse and dad, I got to visit Rosalee out at college. It seemed more like a vacation bouncing than banishment. I was really fine with it, maybe I’m just built that way, it wasn’t as devastating as it might’ve been for another child.

“I do remember my ninth birthday being the single bummer of it all. Or at least, the day started off going decidedly down hill.

“I was the baby who made it after the tragedy of them losing Jo, and you beat believe dad always made a huge deal of my birthday. He’d always tickle the Angel kisses on the back of my neck and remind everyone how Jo and Gladys sent me, mama would recount the story of my birth and my siblings would recall how they laid hands on mama’s belly and prayed I’d come out safe every day for eight months before I was born.

So after nine years of this, when I came downstairs in ‘77 to find that the earth and divorce proceedings hadn’t screeched to a stop just to celebrate me, I was pretty miffed.

I remember just feeling like the vibes were really off at the house, even though dad had come back to celebrate, it was obvious he was very upset with mom. I remember Jesse took me riding on his bike that day, we got out of the house and had fun and I remember when he put me on it, mom and dad were in a deep discussion on the porch, apparently about the fact that I was having a meltdown over not being treated special enough. I've already admitted I was very spoiled, OK folks?

“But the real big thing for me was that by the time I came back from that ride and opened my presents and we ate dinner, things seemed perfectly fine, normal and natural. That night we went through our usual routine and I climbed in the bed with mom and dad like old times. Now that I think about it, that was probably the first time in months that they slept together, and they did that for me. And they did it so naturally and it was really a happy evening, even for them, I think.

“It’s funny how professional you can get at getting along when you’ve had to endure so much like they had, one night of harmony in the middle of a divorce wasn’t a big hurdle for them. There was so much love still there and so much practice, just a lotta confusion. You can see why I wasn’t very surprised when Mama showed up with a baby and a wedding band back on her finger. It might sound bizarre to outsiders, and it’s certainly been portrayed like that by some of our closest friends, but in this film I’d like to set the record straight. It’s what I saw lived out.

Love can be very chaotic sometimes, complex and bizarre but it tries its best. It seeks the good of others. It’s the catalyst for great things and produces generous hearts. And my family certainly did just that.”

Thanks for letting me bug ya with a blurb, and slowly but surely I’m putting faces to the kids, and their stories too. So much thanks goes to my girlies who hash this out with my for hours on end in the chats. The chats are the new trenches, ok? It’s where ya make your Bestest buddies.

@paradsol000

@eliseinmemphis

@prompted-wordsmith

@ab4eva

@foreverdolly

@powerofelvis

@butlersxbirdy

@crash-and-cure

@elvisabutler

@heartbrake-hotel

@stylespresleyhearted

@thatbanditqueen

@crazymadpassionatelove

@myradiaz

@ash-omalley

@arianatheangelgirl

@steph-speaks

@burningloverdoll

@angelface-555

@lookingforrainbows

@missmaywemeetagain

@coolgirl462

@kingdomforapony

@18lkpeters

@richardslady121

@from-memphis-with-love

@lillypink

@artlover8992

@pennyroyalcreep

@notstefaniepresley

@ellie-24

@renaissingle

@waiting4brucewayne2adoptme

@presleyenterprise

@marriedtopresley

@ashtag2887

@dkayfixates

@vampireindistress

@ashtag6887

@i-r-i-n-a-a

@obsessedvibee

@peskybedtime

@goth-cowgirl-03

@stephthestallion

@fav-fanficssss

@loving-elvis

@honeyorangess

@soloangel

@xenaspace3-blog

@60svintage

[zerozeroren]

Are there plans for the marital status? 👀

It's not all sunshine and rainbows in SophieTony kingdom

Long-ish post incoming:

Of their very few tension points, this one is definitely the worst. Sophie does not want to be married.

It's actually a very emotionally raw place for her to be in. She's very passionate about never entering marriage, because she's never seen a successful one. Her parents' marriage ended in a messy divorce that somewhat traumatised her, and then her dad remarried, and it got even nastier. He, being the bastard he is, held the marriage over his new wife's head, in a "Oh you don't like something? Well deal with it because you're not getting away from me now!" sense. And this entrapment that both her mom and stepmom went through became one of Sophie's biggest subconscious fears. So she doesn't view marriage as a happy union of loving hearts, more like a cage where dreams go to die.

Tony, on the other hand, really wants to be married. He romantisizes it like crazy and can't wait to become a husband to a wife, so after a certain point in their relationship he started dropping "hints". Sophie tried her best to turn them into a joke, like, "ha-ha, I already tie the knot on you every Saturday night, what else do you want from me", then explained about common law and that there's no need to get married to share property or whatever and that he was already in her will (that certainly was a fun conversation), but that's not what Tony wanted in the first place so it all fell on deaf ears (also, Sophie didn't really go into much detail in regards to her family life, so Tony did not make the connection until muuuuch later). Sophie's micro-rejections hurt his feelings but didn't deter him, because he can be quire stubborn at times (always getting what you wanted does that to a person sometimes).

So for quite a while the two of them were stuck in this tug of war, him pushing, her not wanting to budge, tension rising and rising every time. Eventually it all came to an open confrontation, where Sophie finally stopped sugar-coating and dragged him through the mud for pushing her towards something she didn't want. Was he really just interested in the status not the relationship itself? Did he want her to marry him under pressure, knowing she wasn't eager to do it? Would he be happy like this?

Funnily, deep down the both of them knew that if he kept at it, she'd eventually cave, because Sophie loves him and doesn't want to lose him after all, and this would be a sacrifice she'd be willing to make for his sake, but this exact realisation finally got through to Tony and made him understand what a jerk he was being to his favourite person in the world, and that he doesn't want to manipulate or pressure her into anything. So he chose being with her on her terms, because he was already happiest he's ever been with Sophie without a marriage certificate.

Safe to say Sophie got a lot of apologies.

(and they eventually did get married when they were 30-something and Sophie worked through a ton of her own issues with Tony by her side through thick and thin)

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Okey same person who asked about thranduil baby daddy’s here.

By the way loved the explanation, makes sense. But I would love to hear more about Ingwe and his adopted relationship to thranduil.

Especially your opinion on how would have thranduil reacted seeing how ingwe turned out? in the sense that in valinor he was all “pease,art,music and the serving the valar”.

Also do you think if given the chance to return to middle earth after going to valinor, the we’s would have returned? And would they have brought their children with them?

I love hearing questions, so dw!

So, first things first: little reminder that everything i have to say is about my au, and is not always canon compliment.

So Ingwe actually calls Thranduil his ada. If you ever hear him talking about his Ada he means thranduil. And everytime someone tries to interfere and say “don’t you mean ingen?” After they started living in valinor (ingen and Alehalen(ingwe’s mom) went with the vanyar) ingwe point blank tells them no, they aren’t his parents.

It’s actually a point of tension, bc valinor elves don’t really understand the concept of adoption, just like they don’t really deal with divorce/remarrying/everything that happened between miriel and finwe. So a lot of elves don’t actually acknowledge that Ingwe has disowned Ingen and Alehalen. Including his younger sister Indis, who was born in valinor (yes, in this au indis is his sister) and his wife, who keeps insisting that he should mend his relationship with them.

And thranduil just treats him like he came from his body. Which isn’t difficult bc Ingwe and Lasgen could be twins tbh. Lasgen and Ingwe are genuinly close, btw, and will call each other “twin”. Thranduil is, however, ready to throw down with Ingen and Alehalen the moment he catches even the faintes whif of them treating him like shit. It was a lot of comforting a crying elfling way back when. Tbh, because custody arrangements and such didn’t really exist then, Ingwe actually just generally spent a lot of time with thranduil and his family, especially as he became older.

This actually what kind of kickstarted the bad blood between the two families. I mean, when ingen ding-dong-ditched thranduil, they were annoyed but moved on oretty quick (especially when they don’t think that loosing Ingen was any real lose) but the way ingen proceeded to treat his kids, and the way in which thranduil “stole” his sone from him really sparked the fire between the two families. Which is why ingwe doesn’t understand how Finwe, who is a Miriel simp, could possibly cheat on her with Indis, of all elves.

It’s complicated. And the drama started long before the Miriel/Finwe/Indis debacle was even thought up, though most elves don’t realize it/forgot.

So, idk if you know this, but i joke on here that Ingwe “started a cult” to deal with his emotions/gain power. Except then he lost control of the cult. To his parents. And sister. And wife. And to an extent his son. Yeah Ingwe’s just having a bad time. He also is very scared that after the thousands of years since he’s seen thranduil that thranduil no longer thinks of him as his son.

Dw, the moment thranduil is in valinor (through whatever means that may be) he pretty much immediately tracks down his long lost son and demands he comes for a family diner all while hugging the stuffing out of him. Thranduil genuinly wouldn’t care how Ingwe turned out as long as he’s happy and not an ass. Sadly, it’s sad vanya elf hours and ingwe’s been lowkey miserable for millenia and this 👌 close to snapping.

The thing about cuivienen elves, is that in general, i think, they deserve to have their own classification bc, by virtue of being the ones who discovered everything/created society/etc. they all have their wires crossed. And it’s not that they dislike peace, but most of them feel a bit stiffled in valinor. Furthermore, i feel like they feel at least a little disassociation with other vanya/teleri/noldor born elves bc cuivienen elves didn’t actually grow up in that culture, and a lot of those distinctions between elven ethnicities happened after they were kids. They feel a little lost, a little out of place at times.

I actually hc that none of the we’s were actually planning to stay in valinor or lead their people but somehow ended up in that role anways and they’re kinda pissed about it. They just wanted to explore, ok, they did not know it meant signing up to be king.

I feel like all of them want to return to middle earth, if they get the chance, but they also don’t want to abandon their people/families, nd they feel it would be unfair to ask it of their families, when a lot of them are clearly happy in valinor.

In short, in my au, the -we’s feel more or less trapped in their role.

Especially when they have to constantly behave civil, when they’re all a little unhinged. Ingwe’s actually pretty bloodthirsty when it comes down to it. It’s something he shares with Lasgen, Willow (other older sister from another mother) and indis. This drive to be ruthless and almost cruel when dealing with any type of opposition is something they inherited from Ingen, though none (bar indis) likes to acknowledge that that is where they get it from.

Also, just a thought:

Thranduil: *steps foot in valinor*

Ingwe, finwe, elwe, and olwe: finally, an adultier adult.

Might have gotten a bit side tracked, but i hope this answered at least most of your questions.

[askthewarrior]

Full Name: Gabriel William Lopez

Species: Human

Age: 36 (I am more than willing to alter this to suit a point in the story/AU)

Sexuality: Gay

Gender: Cisgender male

Birthday: March 23rd

Occupation: Warrior in the Original Order of the Stone, currently a wandering hero

Alignment: Lawful Good

Appearance: Gabriel is certainly a looker and certainly above average height at an impressive 6"5. He has copper coloured skin and heterochromic eyes with one being dark brown and the other a grey-blue. Not only is Gabriel tall in build but also incredibly muscled, making him a tough opponent in a fight. He wears his dark brown in a loose ponytail which starts at the top of his neck and end just below his shoulders. On the off chance he isn't in sporting his usual ponytail, his hair is either loose about the same place the ponytail ends or it's in a bun hidden beneath his helmet.

Attire: When not in his usual, heavily enchanted armour, Gabriel's clothing leans more towards casual and comfortable, generally a baggy T-shirt and trousers with a hoodie.

Demeanor: Throughout his life

Pre Season 1: Pre Season 1, Gabriel is quiet and shy and a bit of a people pleaser. He is afraid to disagree with others for fear of conflict. However, during his time in the Order, Gabriel quickly gains confidence and becomes the well known hero everyone knows and admires.

Season 1: Gabriel is still a kind soul but, during the dark times, has a habit of acting a bit more cocky and confident than he actually is in order to give those around him a confidence boost. He also makes some (admittedly terrible) jokes to attempt to lighten the mood.

Post Season 1: Post Season 1 Gabriel is quiet and somewhat mistrusting of people he doesn't know. Sure he'll still smile politely but he can't help but wonder if he'll end up fighting someone and he fears what he doesn't know, leading to him getting a therapy dog named Audrey and his travel companion, Shadow the horse. Depending on who he's with, his personality can change. To those who knew him best, he is still the confident, warm and eager man they knew but to others, he seems shrouded in smoke and mirrors and is all mystery.

Strengths

Gabriel's most strongest point is, of course, his physical strength. He makes for a tough opponent in battle due to this and his uncanny ability to predict what his opponent is about to do. However, he is a good ally to find on your side

Gabriel is naturally a bit of a charmer with his rogueishly good looks that leave some of the fangirls/boys swooning. He has used this to his ability in a tight situation before

He takes in those he considers vulnerable and the orphans left from the raid on a village. This is down to his naturally kind and caring nature

Weaknesses: We all have em

Gabriel has a habit to put others before himself and this has nearly got him killed on multiple occasions. If not killed then certainly hurt in one way or another

His strength. He does sometimes accidentally hug someone too hard and end up hurting them

He is still kinda a people pleaser and this doesn't always end well for him

A brief backstory (and a few hcs about the other Order members):

Gabriel came to England not long after his parents had been killed in a raid in Mexico. It was during his time in the orphanage that he met Magnus and the two hit it off, despite Gabriel's (at the time) lack of English. Gabriel was brought in by a family already expecting a child but with a comfortable income.

Not long after however (about a year or so after his adoption) his adoptive parents divorced and his father was a fairly absent figure. Despite his mother's insistence, Gabriel helped to raise his younger sister, Beth.

At primary school, Gabriel reunited with Magnus and made three extra friends; Ellegaard, Ivor and Soren.

Thanks to both of his adoptive parents remarrying, Gabriel ended up with five more younger siblings - one boy and four girls. The last of his younger siblings, a sister, was born when he was sixteen years old

After he and Ellegaard graduated from university the Order of the Stone officially formed. During this time, Gabriel and Ivor started dating, marrying two years afterwards. When their group fell apart, Ivor and Gabriel stayed together and helped build Gabriel's temple.

Neither know when they decided they wanted a family but when a 10 year old Jesse and 7 year old Jess were placed on their doorstep with no memory of their former parents, the two men took them under their wings.

Two years later however, Gabriel and Ivor divorced after Gabriel realised what Ivor was planning to do to reveal the truth and the guilt of not stopping Ivor sooner still crushes him to this day.

A few facts

Gabriel has fostered other children, including Petra, after a court case of child abuse

Gabriel eventually settled down about six months after Season 2 to better take care of his kids but does still go out adventuring and rescuing others

He has autism

He took in most of the New Order (except Olivia, whom he is ninety nine percent sure was adopted by Ellie)

After a long, hard road to reconciliation, he eventually remarried Ivor

The witherstorm left him with scarring to say the least. He can't forget the screaming of the storm's victims and now he's afraid to get sick lest he nearly die again....

With half a dozen siblings, it's no surprise that Gabriel is a natural parent

His favourite music genres are folk and music. Favourite songs include Rocky Road to Dublin, Bones (by Sail North, not Imagine Dragons), Drunken Sailor, and Song of the Sea (which he used as a lullaby for Jesse and Jess

I'm afraid the ask box isn't open just yet as I still need to do the rules of the blog 😅

[teecupangel]

Hi. I'm one of your greatest fans.

Sooo... I was watching avatar the last air bander and I was just wondering which clan desmond and his ancestors ( or whoever you want) whould be from.

Or were there still a kind of assassin's order like them in avatar world?

Hello! It’s always fun to hear from you guys!

Oooohhh, then may I interest you in this Avatar AU ask that has both “what if Desmond and his ancestors were the next line of Avatars?” and “Okay, but what if, they were like… Pro-bending pros?”

So, for this ask, I think we can just go and use the Pro-bending AU as our basis.

In that AU, I suggested the following:

Altaïr - Fire Nation, born and raised to be a soldier but left because he grew tired of being told “If only you’d have been born as the Avatar…” and became a Pro-Bender to show that, even if he isn’t the Avatar, he was still the strongest Firebender. (can also Lightningbend)

Ezio - Born in Republic City, his family was surprised to learn he could Airbend. They had Air Nomad ancestors but they haven’t had an Airbender for generations. Instead of joining the Air Nomads in Air Temple Island, he learned from old texts left by his ancestors and decided to be a pro-Bender to get the attention of a woman named Cristina who is the daughter of a wealthy industrialist from the Republic City. Well, that was the reason why he joined but he stayed because he enjoys pro-Bending and he likes to joke that his teammates would be lost without him.

Ratonhnhaké:ton - He said once he was from the southern part of Earth Kingdom (actual location is unknown), he appeared in Republic City when he was fourteen to find his father. He doesn’t talk about why he was looking for his father but his team knows it didn’t end well and he began to live with his grandfather instead who was an ex-Pro-Bender and their manager.

Desmond - Doesn’t like to talk about where he’s from but he did admit that he was born in ‘one of the smaller islands of Fire Nation’ and that’s as far as he was willing to say. He came to Republic City to start his life (his words) and ends up being Edward’s assistant. It pays the bills and he lives with the rest of the team in the apartment Edward set up for them for cheaper rent and living expenses in general. Other hints he gave about his birthplace: shaped like a moon and has a volcano. Altaïr immediately thought of Crescent Island and Desmond just laughed but he never confirmed nor denied it.

Edward Kenway - Born in Southern Water Tribe and he likes to say he was a descendant of one of the most feared pirates of the Southern Water Tribe but there’s no real proof of it. He left his tribe and came to Republic City to become a Pro-Bender, leaving his wife with a promise he would get enough money to buy her a house in Republic City and send for her once everything is ready. Edward doesn’t talk about what happened to him during his latter years as a Pro-Bender (although there were rumors with some talking about how one of his team members died or something) but his wife died back home and his daughter was escorted to him. He later remarried a woman from a wealthy family from Earth Kingdom that was staying in Republic City and had a son (Ratonhnhaké:ton’s father) although they’re divorced now.

I think the Assassin Brotherhood and the Templar Order would be… well… quite different in an Avatar AU. Less Assassin-y, more on the side of shadowy organizations using their ‘power’ to influence the world with the Brotherhood more on the side of ‘everyone should have the right to use their power as they wish but within reason’ and the Templar Order more on the side of “humans are unreasonable creatures that must be controlled to keep the peace.” (So it’s still Free Will and Absolute Order but less stabby-stab-stab and ancient alien BS and more fire-water-earth-air power with a bit of stabbing as a treat) Hidden Blades are still a thing but they’re mostly an old tradition kind of thing (Altaïr did learn how to use them and one of his techniques is to create a thin blast of fire from his wrist at close range. Desmond seemed unsurprised by Altaïr’s ‘signature move’.)

Okay, so other characters time!

Also known as… Unorganized Notes:

Haytham is a Water Bender but he was born and raised in Republic City. He travels a lot as he inherited his mother’s family’s company. He says he has no interest in Pro-Bending but Shay had seen him watch matches of his son once or twice.

Speaking of Shay, he’s from the coldest parts of the Northern Water Tribe. He can be a Water Bender or a non bender. If he is a Water Bender, he’s in his element in icy locations and liked to use ice as part of his moves.

Arno Dorian is a rival Pro-Bending Team with Jacob and Jayadeep. He was born and raised in Republic City (and sorta childhood friends with Ezio… distantly). He’s a Water Bender and acts as the leader of his team “The Rooks”.

Jacob Frye is a Fire Bender born in the United Republic of Nations (although he wasn’t born in the capital). Together with his twin, they ran away from home and went to Republic City without the approval of their guardian after their father’s death. He became friends with Arno and helped him create a Pro-Bending Team because it looked fun.

Evie Frye, Jacob Frye’s all-time suffering older twin and a Fire Bender as well. She’s also officially a backup member of the Rooks (there was one time that Jacob got an injury that made him unable to play for a few months and she 'helped out') and where Jacob’s fire is all-consuming and full of flair, her fire is more precise and quicker (and with enough training, stubbornness and actually stalking Altaïr which embarrasses Jacob so much until Altaïr finally agreed to teach her, she learns how to Lightningbend). She’s currently studying at a university in Republic City and has a part-time job in the public library where she met Jayadeep.

Jayadeep is from Earth Kingdom and is an Earth Bender. A certain incident made him and his family leave their hometown when he was young and he’s been living in Republic City ever since. Has been roped by Jacob into joining the Rooks but he’s enjoying it… also… Evie always comes to cheer him on when they have a match. (“I’m here for Jayadeep, not for you.” “Love you too, my dear sweet sister.”)

I like to imagine Bayek as a non-bender who became the president of the United Republic of Nations. If a fic was to be written about this AU, the characters would usually just hear his name from the news like “President Bayek has signed the…” or “Today, President Bayek was seen in…”

Aya is a Fire Bender who disappeared after the death of her son. It’s not that well known but she had been President Bayek’s wife as well. No one knows her current location or if she was even still alive.

Kassandra is a Fire Bender and she’s a Pro-Bender as well. Born in Fire Nation in a family known for having lots of military achievements, she left her family and started to wander around, ending up in Republic City and getting roped into joining the Pro-Bender team composed of Eivor and Tahira. She has a younger brother named Alexios who she regularly spars with. Alexios always jokes about making his own Pro-Bending team so he can show everyone who the hotter sibling is.

Eivor is part of a small clan in the Northern Water Tribe. She left with her half-brother for Republic City to make a name for themselves. Her brother, Sigurd, is a rising politician and she’s using her popularity in Pro-Bending to support her brother. Pictures of Sigurd cheering loudly and always supporting Eivor’s matches endears him to the people because it’s clear that he’s being earnest in supporting his sister.

Basim is Sigurd’s personal assistant of unknown origin and unknown Bending capabilities. He has a son (adopted? Biological? Eivor isn’t sure) named Hytham who is an Earth Bender and always watches Eivor’s matches.

Tahira is from the Earth Kingdom and is an Earth Bender. She actually came to Republic City to come live with her cousin’s family. She’s a big supporter of President Bayek.

Rebecca and Shaun are the main commentators of Pro-Bending matches. Shaun is a Water Bender born and raised in Republic City. Rebecca was born in one of the small villages that lie on the border between Earth Kingdom and United Republic. She’s an Earth Bender but her skills actually lie in Metal Bending.

Clay is an Air Nomad who sorta slips in and out of the Air Temple and Republic City. He’s friends with Ezio and Ezio introduced him to Desmond. He’s a bit strange but Desmond believes his strangeness is deliberate to make people underestimate him.

The name of the landlord of Desmond and the other’s apartment is Edward Thatch. He looks a lot like the Fire-Bender Blackbeard who was Edward’s old team member and the one rumored to have died. They call him Uncle Eddie and he just laughs whenever anyone tells him he looks like Blackbeard.

Mary Read (Earth Bender) and Anne Bonny (non Bender) own the bar that Edward likes to frequent. Mary was the other member of Edward’s team and she used her savings and retirement fund to build the bar called Bad Weather. Desmond part times there for extra cash and to help up whenever it gets busy and he didn’t have anything to do anyway.

[blingblingsparklesparkle]

Definitely not because I’m thinking of them but you should talk about the Tangerine x Carver kiddos 👀

AHHHHHHHHH yes absolutely I will

I’m going oldest to youngest‼️

—————

Tangerine and Carvers first child is Ryan Amaya de Díaz (they/she/he)!! She was born after a messyyyyyy break up and lived with Carver for the first 5 years of his life. They got back together and immediately (4 days later) got married in Las Vegas.

Tangerine hated their whole gothic look, but Carver LOVES it, the first toy he every bought her was a spider plushie.

There was a point in time where both their parents thought she wasn’t Tangerines bc. Yknow. Brunette + brunette = blonde???? Turns out Carvers mom is actually blonde and dyed her hair but they still joke that Carver had an affair (though when Tangerine says it the whole family gets uncomfortable)

—————

Their second child TECHNICALLY is Claire Edwards (she/her), but only by a few seconds. Claire is every terrifying mean little girl growing up and it’s entirely because of Tangerine. She is spoiled ROTTEN but makes up for it by unintentionally being the funniest sibling.

She grows up to be in the business! She is mostly known for being very quick and efficient during wet work.

Claire is the flower girl at their 3rd wedding! And the one who starts the “how long till they get divorced” bets whenever they get remarried. Truly a multitasker.

—————

The third child is Cecilia Edwards (she/her)! THE messiest child ever, she’s the reason Carver and Tangerine always carry bandages with them.

Lover of dark tourism. Apparently being the daughter of two assassins isn’t enough. Cecilia is the one who takes out the ouija board at sleepovers.

The flower girl at Tangerine and Carvers 5th wedding! And the one who wins all the “how long till they get divorced” bets. Claims to have a 6th sense and so far as not been proven wrong.

—————

Last but not least, Haiden Edwards (he/him)! He’s the child that is nice to all the adults and then steals their wallets. He’s a “we can’t get divorced because I’m pregnant!” baby.

Also ends up being in the business! Doesn’t do a lot of wet work, mostly does snatch n grabs.

Inherited all of Carver’s charisma and confidence. It takes actual hours for them to decide who to do the dishes, and it always ends up being Tangerine.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Andrew Doyle

Published: Jan 8, 2023

Stop me if you’ve heard this one. A man’s wife divorces him and shacks up with his boss. Soon after, a friend suggests that he should remarry. “What for?” he asks. “Are you looking for a wife as well?”

It may not be the funniest joke, but that’s because it’s an anecdote from The Lives of the Caesars by the Ancient Roman historian Suetonius. The comedian in this case was a senator called Aelius Lamia whose wife had left him for the Emperor Domitian. For making this casual quip, Domitian had Lamia put to death. Now that’s a bad review.

It might be worth keeping this anecdote in mind when the usual debates flare up about whether comedy “goes too far”. The notion of people being offended by jokes is as old as comedy itself, and often people react angrily if humour isn’t to their taste. The current manifestation of this age-old debate takes the form of a simple dichotomy: “woke comedy” versus “anti-woke comedy”.

Already we are in treacherous waters. It is very unwise to define whole genres by terms that have no settled definitions. The actor Kathy Burke believes that “woke” simply refers to people who are neither racist nor homophobic, which would surely mean that the overwhelming majority of us would happily embrace the term. But for those who have been on the receiving end of the bullying, harassment and intimidation by activists who self-define as “woke”, it is clear this issue is not so straightforward.

Over the past few years, we have seen the emergence of a new comedy movement, one branded by commentators as “anti-woke”, that seeks to push back against the orthodoxies of our time. Its closest historical precedent is the “alternative” comedians of the Eighties, who also took aim at establishment norms and were often similarly blunt in their approach. The key difference today is that there is no broad agreement about where the power in society lies, and so while “anti-woke” comedians see themselves as anti-establishment, their critics insist that the opposite is true.

Consider the example of Ricky Gervais, whose new Netflix stand-up special Armageddon has sparked this most recent round of discussions about the supposed red lines in comedy. Some have accused Gervais of taking a reactionary stance, most notably because of jokes relating to migrants and disabled children. Gervais has been branded an “anti-woke” comedian, but I doubt very much that he would see it in such reductive terms. Anyone familiar with his work will know that he has always lampooned closed systems of thought, and it just so happens that “wokeness” currently represents the dominant incarnation. There was a time when many of Gervais’s critics were perfectly happy to see him take a wrecking ball to the certainties of religious faith. It would appear they take a different view when it’s their own belief system taking a battering.

A simplistic reading of “woke” versus “anti-woke” comedy is that the former “punches up” while the latter “punches down”, but such rules are incoherent when applied to an inherently anarchic medium. Besides, it simply is not true that there exists a growing number of comedians who are seeking fame and easy laughs by taking aim at the most marginalised in society.

As I have said, it comes down to a question of how one perceives power. Too often the culture war is misconceived as a conflict between Left and Right, with “woke” aligned with the former and “anti-woke” with the latter, but “wokeness” carries with it the kind of clout that transcends the political binary. In their 13 years of government, the Conservatives have presided over the worst excesses of this identity-obsessed ideology and the havoc it has wrought on society. Far from fighting a “war on woke”, they have been actively enabling it.

So where does the real power lie? Is it with governments that can be voted out if the public tires of them? Or is it with activists who now have significant influence in all cultural, educational, political and corporate institutions, and who cannot be dislodged by means of any democratic process? These are the same zealots who have fostered racial division in the name of “anti-racism”, jeopardised the rights of women and gay people through the promotion of gender identity ideology, destabilised the very notion of empirical truth, attempted to rewrite our history and reconstruct our culture, and launched a relentless assault on free speech and the achievements of social liberalism. Just because they describe themselves as being “on the right side of history” doesn’t make it true.

And so, when we read an article in the New Statesman lamenting the “tedious world of anti-woke comedy”, we can be fairly sure that the criticism is political. Does the writer sincerely believe that these performers are simply trying to attack minorities and cause as much offence as possible? This is the least generous of all suppositions, one born out of a fundamental misunderstanding of the art of comedy. It strikes me that many of those who dismiss stand-ups as “anti-woke” are simply berating them for taking an anti-establishment stance and for believing that those in power ought to be ridiculed rather than eulogised. But what is the point of a court jester who acts as a propagandist for the king?

Another common reaction from critics has been to imply that certain topics ought to be ring-fenced, and that joking about them is tantamount to a form of violence. The charity Scope has lambasted Gervais’s new show for containing “ableist slurs” and claimed that “language like this has very real consequences”. But those of us who have seen Armageddon would have to concede that the most obvious consequence appears to be the laughter of audience members who are clearly enjoying themselves. What Gervais’s critics mean is that jokes are like toxins, and that popular culture — if not carefully regulated — has the power to corrupt the Great Unwashed. Mary Whitehouse made the identical argument many decades ago.

Fortunately, her fears were unfounded. Over half a century of research into “media effects” theory — the hypothesis that the public will modify its behaviour according to the mass media it consumes — has seen it roundly discredited. Jokes do not cause violence, unless you are talking about Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars, or the Emperor Domitian lopping off the occasional head.

The history of comedy shows us that its practitioners will always cause offence, so why do we continue to squabble over where the red lines ought to be drawn? No matter how many times you shift the boundary, it will still end up being crossed. I am not implying here that there is anything wrong with criticism, however puritanical it might be. Comedians who violate popular sensibilities have always faced pushback and resentment. The problem arises when the offended parties seek to impose their tastes on everyone else. So while I support anyone’s right to criticise Gervais’s show, I am disturbed by those who have called on Netflix to censor the offending material.

Personally, I have always relished those comedians who have no clear affiliations, who take aim in all directions and unsettle as much as they entertain. But today’s comedy industry is not a hospitable environment for these sorts of freethinkers. For some years now, there has been an undeniable strain of groupthink among those in positions of power: promoters, commissioners, critics and even some performers. Acts who conform have been rewarded, while those who refuse to do so have been shunned. It hasn’t taken much for up-and-coming comics to realise that it is more profitable to be seen to convey the “correct” message rather than to develop their craft in innovative and individual ways. The impulse to serve Mammon rather than the Muses has enervated the comedy scene, and self-censorship is now the norm.

The writer Graham Linehan is living proof of how heretics are treated in the current climate. For blaspheming against the holy creed of gender identity ideology — one embraced wholesale by the gatekeepers of the comedy industry — he has been unable to work for six years. In his new memoir, Tough Crowd, he discusses how his musical adaptation of Father Ted has been scotched, either because the bosses at Hat Trick Productions (which owns the rights) are too cowardly to be seen promoting his work, or because activist elements within the company disapprove of his views.

Only a couple of decades ago, it was virtually unheard of for comedy promoters to take seriously complaints from audience members claiming to be “offended”. Now, it takes little more than a few disgruntled tweets for venues to panic and cancel bookings. But the backlash is palpable. Many of us have grown weary of comedians toeing the establishment line and substituting agitprop for jokes. Some “anti-woke” comedy may lack sophistication and subtlety, but maybe that’s a small price to pay to redress the balance and reenergise the art form. If you want to smash taboos, sometimes you need a sledgehammer.

==

Social constructivists believe that language doesn't describe reality, it creates reality. That's why they get so angry when anyone blasphemes against their authoritarian ideology. It's like casting a counter-spell which undermines the parallel universe they've conjured.

The people complaining about Ricky Gervais' comedy have nothing to say about the other 95% of his performance.

We have to ignore them.

[brckenoncs]

(—) ★ spotted!! MARGARITA ‘MAGGIE’ ROSARIO on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 24 year old looks like CHRISTINA NADIN, but i don’t really see it. while  the MODEL/WRITER is known for being EBULLIENT my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be LOQUACIOUS i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song BRUISES by RENEE RAPP {she/her / cisfemale}

the statistics

name:  margarita ‘maggie’ rocio rosario age: 24 dob: march 16, 1999 gender: cisfemale sexuality: bisexual occupation: model/writer ( writing career claim: sarah j. maas )

the history

born the youngest of five children, maggie has always been the type to take care of others. whether it be her older siblings (three brothers and a sister) or her parents. when she was thirteen years old, maggie found herself in the midst of a huge custody battle after her mother cheated on her father with his brother. it felt that they would have shared custody of their underage children.

her parents constantly fought after the divorce, barely being able to stand being in the same room as one another. longer than an hour and bitterness would take over. it only got worse when her mother got remarried to her uncle, who became her step-father. it felt like her life was spent growing up in a soap opera.

the older she got, the more that maggie began to hide behind the façade of perfection. they didn’t have time to worry about her if she was always active in school and community. not only did she do every extra curricular that she could find, ran in a tight knit social circle and even kept a part time job at a bookstore in the city. if her life wasn’t a whirlwind, maggie would find herself becoming overwhelmed by the sense of duty she felt to her family.

at sixteen years old, maggie had the most cliche beginning to fame that could have possibly happened, which she still jokes around about to this day. she was working at the bookstore when she was scouted for modeling and after vetting the man who approached her, maggie decided to go for it. it was just supposed to be another part time thing that helped her make cash on the side and soon enough it turned into traveling into new york city to do fashion shows and shoots in big companies.

this was not the life she envisioned for herself but modeling was giving her enough to make her way through college which is what she wanted. she enrolled in columbia university school of the arts for writing with a concentration in fiction writing.

it hasn’t been much and she continues to model for her agency on the side but her primary focus now is building connections through the industry she plans to break out in.

( updated information tw: substance abuse , eating disorder ) 

after coming back to hollywood after finishing school and trying to settle back into life in california, she ended up catching back up with longtime best friends johnny kennedy and maddox mckelvie. after years of the two of them pretending that there was nothing more between the two of them, maggie eventually ended up kissing maddox while she was drunk. he pushed her away due to feeling unworthy of her and broke her head, sending her sailing back to nyc. only he followed her there and admitted that he was in love with her. the two have been together since – maggie helping maddox find reasons to try and stay sober. her next journey for herself was to finally publish her first book, but the pressure of failing to get any publication companies interested at first has destroyed her own self worth and she’s found herself falling back into self-sabotage habits, which includes relapsing into her eating disorder due to needing the control in her life.

[icedfae]

(—) ★ spotted!! MARGARITA ‘MAGGIE’ ROSARIO on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 23 year old looks like CHRISTINA NADIN, but i don’t really see it. while  the MODEL/WRITER is known for being EBULLIENT my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be LOQUACIOUS i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE HER by MADDIE ZAHM

someday you’ll think you disappoint your parents

basics

Name: Margarita ‘Maggie’ Rocio Rosario Age: Twenty-Three DOB: March 16, 1999 Gender: Cisfemale Sexuality: Bisexual Occupation: Model/Writer Family Members: Davina Rosario ( full sister ), Jaylen Rosario ( maternal half-brother, adopted by biological father )

but they’ll love you, not despite, but regardless

biography

Born the youngest of five children, Maggie has always been the type to take care of others. Whether it be her older siblings (three brothers and a sister) or her parents. When she was thirteen years old, Maggie found herself in the midst of a huge custody battle after her mother cheated on her father with his brother. It fell that they would have shared custody of their underage children.

Her parents constantly fought after the divorce, barely being able to stand being in the same room as one another. Longer than an hour and bitterness would take over. It only got worse when her mother got remarried to her uncle, who became her step-father. It felt like her life was spent growing up in a soap opera.

The older she got, the more that Maggie began to hide behind the façade of perfection. They didn’t have time to worry about her if she was always active in school and community. Not only did she do every extra curricular that she could find, ran in a tight knit social circle and even kept a part time job at a bookstore in the city. If her life wasn’t a whirlwind, Maggie would find herself becoming overwhelmed by the sense of duty she felt to her family.

At sixteen years old, Maggie had the most cliche beginning to fame that could have possibly happened, which she still jokes around about to this day. She was working at the bookstore when she was scouted for modeling and after vetting the man who approached her, Maggie decided to go for it. It was just supposed to be another part time thing that helped her make cash on the side and soon enough it turned into travelling into New York City to do fashion shows and shoots in big companies.

This was not the life she envisioned for herself but modeling was giving her enough to make her way through college which is what she wanted. She enrolled in Columbia University School of the Arts for writing with a concentration in fiction writing.

It hasn’t been much and she continues to model for her agency on the side but her primary focus now is building connections through the industry she plans to break out in.

and you’ll learn to let people have shitty opinions

things to note

Though there was always the temptation to party with the other models she met through her agency, Maggie has kept herself out of trouble for the most part.

TW Eating Disorder During her time as a sixteen year old breaking out into modeling, she did develop an eating disorder in which she’s been hospitalized three times over -- the last being almost a year ago now. 

Always trying to keep up the persona of being perfect, it’s rare to find Maggie without a smile on her face or laughing loudly for all to hear. She likes to keep up the bubbly act as much as possible. If you’re happy people don’t worry about you.

She’s currently writing a novel about an elven community in her free time. She will tell you all about it if you ask.

A giant nerd, often found reading as it was her biggest solace as a child.

It’s not unusual for her to go on a tangent about a topic that she’s passionate about. Often times she’ll talk in circles until you point it out.

Her family, the Rosario clan, are known for each of the children gaining popularity and stardom despite the quaint life they lived growing up. Their fame is slowly booming them into popularity the more each of them gets famous.

She is a virgin which is not something that is really well known because girl can come across as a flirt when she’s actually just being friendly.

and talk about your trauma and like the body you live in

connections

The Rest of the Rosarios - Maggie is the youngest of five, three brothers and an older sister. I feel like the other four are relatively close in age with the one closest to her being 25 now. The older four were always closer to each other than Maggie, her being the quiet one of the bunch, but there isn’t much they wouldn’t do for one another. All of them making it in different fields, her parents were heralded as having raised them a good bunch when in reality the eldest of the children raised the younger ones while their parents fought constantly over the infidelities. 

Industry Friends - Through her many years in the modeling world, she’s met a lot of people and networked through

Tinder Dates - Girl is single living in the 21st century in LA, ofc she’s been on tinder dates galore. They could have gone badly, could have gone alright. Maybe even a few of them went well enough that they’re seeing each other again casually. Who knows, it’s a big old game of Russian Roulette.

more to come when i’m not dying

[nyanbary]

Things I Think Are True about the Ratgrinders from the Bad Kids Backstories, bc lets face it, they're mirrors of each other:

jy spoilers, obviously. under the cut bc its decently long

Lucy Frostblade: Siblings, brothers. Feels like a middle child and not the eldest, but her having brothers is important to me. Whole family is religious. They all worship Ruvina. Solidly middle class. While the Frostblades used to be royalty/noble, they aren't anymore. And they don't act like it. Sapphic. Need I say more? Actually, I'm thinking Biromantic and the Ace-Spectrum, instead of being a full-blown lesbian, but still. She was always considered prodigious in her Clerical studies and her interpretation of their religion. Extremely empathatic. Finds herself wanting to help everyone.

Ivy Embra: Family is from Fallinel, like Fabian's mom is. But they're not as well off as the Seacasters are, nor as important as the Lomeneldas. They did get their money through dubious means and are new money Parents didn't really show their affection around the house and are almost never seen together. Though, they are both alive, as opposed to Fabian's parents. Ivy's mom has a lover that lives in the garage /j. Actually it's the pool house and he's no where near as pathetic as Gilear, but still The only children raised by their parents right now. There are jokes of Bill having countless of bastard children running around and I think Ivy's dad has a second family. Was semi-forced to go down the archery path of her mother. Ivy's mom was a pageant girlie and really good at archery (her like, special skill) and that's why Ivy chose that as a fighter. Has complicated feelings about her parents and doesn't see herself able to rely on them other than monetarily.

Oisin Hakinvar: Rich. Stupid rich. Old money rich. Has siblings, more than Adaine. Had to attend a bunch of events for his family, even though he was the "black sheep" for wizardry Originally born in the Red Waste and moved to Solace bc of parents

terrible relationship with his siblings. always pitted against each other and can never really live up to them, because he chose wizardry instead of sorcery. didn't have many friends until aguefort. mostly bc of being a standoffish dragonborn, even as a child, but still. kinda friendless until aguefort.

Ruben Hopclap: Divorced parents. lives w/ dad. he's practically never around tho. Mom remarried/is about to remarry & has another, much younger kid. has complicated feelings about this kid unlike Fig, but it happened when he was younger braces kids. both fig and ruben. fig has her younger imo. fairly popular in middle school. never in the same circles, but both were well liked, friendly people. fig just went through her alt phase two year earlier

Mary-Ann Skuttle: artificer parents grew up near little branch actually, closer to where a bunch of other kobolds lived. didn't have many friends, but honestly, didn't care unlike gorgug parents were confused about her wanting to be a barbarian, until they realized she was really good at it and were immensely supportive extremely sex-positive parents. the Skuttles have their own sex binder. when the thistlesprings met the skuttles, they compared notes

Kipperlily Copperkettle: Both need therapy /j. different reasons obviously, but both need it. both had halfling babysitters that went to aguefort. riz's was just the one that got kidnapped :/ instantly knew she wanted to be a rogue. there was nothing else for her to be. prefers Rogue stuff to romance. tho i dont see her on the aro/ace spectrum like Riz. she just doesn't need the distraction

Buddy Dawn: Helioic. Easy enough Has siblings. probably too many bc he's so mormon coded grew up in the church and always knew of his destiny, even if kristen's was more important travelled often on mission trips prefers not living with his parents, even if he feels more guilty for saying that. he lives w/ bobby in order to engross himself into clericdom and it gives him freedom. queer.

[bachloretteliz]

Broken Shoulders & Snowboarding Dates

Welcome back people! Ready to meet one of the final 2 contestants? Of course you are, let’s meet him.

We’ll nickname him Ketchup, because his last name looks like a certain ketchup brand. Now I met Ketchup at a football game when he was a senior and I a sophomore. I was on the sidelines doing my photography magic, when this cute wide-receiver stood in front of me. Now this man was just adorable. Charming smile, soft eyes, tall… the whole package. Searched him up on the roster, found his instagram, then found his Snapchat… FBI Agent I know! I even went to one of his basketball games. I know, this is the most middle school crush ever. Now Ketchup was the guy in those romance movies. He was the boy you got one look at and your heart skipped a little beat. Everything about him was picture perfect, he was the guy you wanted to bring home to your parents. All these movie boys have one thing that the girl fell for, well for me it was the way we could be natural with each other. We could go from the deepest conversations to fighting over who is better at what. Of course he was cute, but honestly he has such a pretty personality. He gave off vibes that were so positive, that made you want to be around him.

Of course I also loved his eyes. I saw a quote that says you fall in love with someone’s eyes because they’re the one thing that won’t age. He would argue that his eyes are basic, but I loved them. They were kind of hazel and changed colors depending on the light. Sometimes they were more brown. Brown like chocolate, or brown leaves that shine in fall. And sometimes they were more green, like a forest on the north west coast. They were pretty to me, even if he thinks they’re the color of poop…

Okay now the funniest part in this crush. In his basketball game against my school he broke his shoulder. Why is it funny? He got laid out by one of the smallest and skinniest kids on the team. It was a little funny. Me and Ketchup never dated, he was honestly a little high school crush I had. But he was one of the sweetest friends I had. He had a girlfriend his senior year, so that’s one MAJOR reason why I never expressed my feelings. I also was being realistic in the sense he was leaving for college, and I still had 2 years left of school. It just wouldn’t have worked out. And I’m pretty sure he couldn’t see me like that. So I hid my little crush from him. My one gal friend would joke that me and him were married, and were her mom and dad. But mom and dad got divorced (we didn’t talk for like 6 months because he ghosted me for some reason). Now anytime we talk she thinks mom and dad will get remarried…

We ended up talking for 2 years on and off. FaceTimes here and there, asking for fashion advice (he always asked not me), and just staying friends. I’d ask him for homework help all the time, and safe to say he shouldn’t be a teacher. He’d argue with me about basketball, Fortnite, and his questionable outfit choices.

We went snowboarding once together, and it was so sweet. We were with one of my friends as well, and we just had fun being with each other the whole night. He listened to his Katy Perry and we listened to our Drake. We were actually going off jumps, and he ATE IT. I’m talking brutal wipeout… but I think that night will be one of my favorite memories for a couple of reasons. That night he proved to be true, and was the most genuine and kind boy I know. The guy made sure me and my gal were okay every time we wiped out. Even though the one time I got off the lift wrong and landed on top of him… oops. He also proved to me how a guy should treat me. Even though we never dated, he treated me with 100% respect, attention, and kindness. He made my soul feel seen.

We still talk here and there about random things that pop up, and I honestly have no bad things to say about Ketchup. I think that’s why he’s one of the last two men standing. There was never anything bad between us, and he is one of the most genuine guys I know. Besides the bad snowboarding skills, and broken shoulder, Ketchup was the best little crush and friend I had.

He won’t be getting the final rose, but I wish him the best. Any girl who gets him is lucky. But prayers for her because his rapping/singing skills are horrid. Ear bleeding.

Until next time people:)

[hulijingemperor2]

Qin Su: *bows, and kisses Meng Shi's hand* greetings, taihou.

Meng Shi: welcome back, dear. *kisses her cheek* How are you?

Qin Su: I'm doing great.

Meng Shi: that's lovely!

Qin Su: *hands her a bouquet*

Meng Shi: awww, thank you darling. Those are some beautiful flowers.

Qin su: you're welcome, taihou.

Meng Shi: Yao'er, are you two planning to remarry?

Yao: *looks at Qin Su* actually yes, A-niang. A-Su also wished to reunite with her family.

Qin Su: yes taihou. It was improper of me to split with A-Yao.

Yao: A-Su, don't blame yourself, dear. I was the one who divorced you in order to protect you. Maybe I had caused more damage.

Qin su: no Huangdi.

Meng shi: ah, babies! Forget the past.

We all know that sect leader Yao had spread those rumors, and his brain is in his pinky toe and his tongue need a leash.

At least you're back!  

Your alliance will benefit Song'er and Yi'er.

And it would bring prosperity to the empire.

Qin su: and don't worry. I'll stay by Yao Huangdi's side.

Meng shi: I know you will.

*admires* my son A-Yao has the best taste.

Sisi: definitely. Because he's your son.

Qin huanghou is really pretty.

Meng Shi: mmm.  She's demure, beautiful, intelligent and  elegant. Do you agree, A-Yao.

Yao: yes, she's all these things. And we miss being together.

Meng Shi: aw.

Yao: not that I'm a simp.

I just care for her.

Meng Shi: of course you aren't a simp, Yao'er.

The jianghu are on their knees for you.

And she looks like she's head over heels for you too!

Yao: certainly.

Qin Su: even his enemies think he's attractive.

Meng shi: it's the Meng beauty.

Qin su: exactly.

Meng Shi: A-Yao, A-Su. Come, let's have some snacks.

~~

Later on....

A-Yao and Qin su: *walking through Jing Manor.*

Yao: missed anything?

Qin Su: yes, I missed everything.

Yao: did you miss me?

Qin Su: like crazy.

Yao: I missed you too, dear.

Qin Su: *blushing* that's good to know.

Rusong: hey A-Die, A-niang. *kisses them*

Both: hi baby. *caressing his face*

Qin Su: Song'er.

Rusong: you know I really love seeing you two together.

You're my world.

A-Yao: aww. Well that's what you'll see from now on. 

A happy family.

Rusong: great! A-niang, A-niang. I have a girlfriend. *blush*

Qin Su: ahh! that's delightful news! Well who can ever ignore Songsong and his dimples.

Yao: every girl in the empire has a crush on him.

Qin Su: he got that from you. Seducing everyone in sight without trying.

Yao: haha.

Qin Su: baby Song'er. Who's your girlfriend?

Rusong: A-qing, from Yi city.

Qin su: yi city?

A-Yao, isn't that a slum area? How did you let this happen?

Yao: Chengmei and Xiao xingchen is her guardian. You don't need to worry.

Do think I'll have him be in a relationship with any and anyone.

Qin Su: no Huangdi. I was just shocked about her residence.

Is she lovely, Song'er?

Rusong: yea, A-qing is really sweet and well mannered.

She's also very outspoken.

Qin Su: hmm.

Rusong: she makes me happy, A-niang.

Qin Su: *smiling again*

Once my Song'er is happy.

And Huangdi and taihou had approved of her and I will to.

Yao: you'll meet her soon.

She'll be back after two months.

Qin Su: lovely.

Rusong: you two are the best!

Now I got to go. I have to meet up with Jingyi and Ling gege. Bye.

Yao: see you later, Song'er.

Qin Su: bye baby.

.

Qin su: Huangdi, is your empire going to fund our Song'er's sect leader inauguration and Huangdi enthronement in the future?

Yao: yes. And we got guangshan.

He's still renting from us.

Qin Su: excellent.

Well Song'er's future is set!

Yao: as always.

Qin Su: Now where to next, Huangdi?

Yao: you got to meet team dimple, as they're oblivious about our remarriage.

Qin su: mn.

Yao: *joking* should we inform Zewu Jun?

Qin Su: let him find out for himself. Hmf!

Yao: ohh, A-Su! Don't get angry. *laughing*

Su she: *sees a glimpse of them, and fell on his knees*

*spellbound* Huangdi and Huanghou. They're both so beautiful and elegant.

*blushing*

Yao: hey Shanshan, we were just about to meet up with team dimple.

Su she: you were? *blushing*

Qin su: ah, Huangdi's most devoted. How are you?

Su she: I'm ok, Meng Furen. I can be devoted to you too. I mean like......if you  wish.

*blush*

Qin Su: aw, you're so sweet.

Yao: *supports him* rise, Shanshan.

Su she: o...ok Huangdi.

Mo xuanyu: Su Jiejie! *hugs*

Qin Su: Yuyu!!

Mo xuanyu: are you back??

Qin Su: here to stay!

Xue yang: *eating tanghulus* hey gorgeous and gorgeous.

Qin Su: nice to meet you again, Chengmei.

Xue yang: Shanshan has a crush on you.

Su she: xue yang!!

Xue yang: hehehehehe.

Yao: A-She, you do?

Su she: huangdi....how can I have a crush on Huanghou? Yes she's really beautiful and is your female counterpart.....i just want to worship you two....like....

Xue yang stop reading my journal!

Yao: *laughing* dear it's ok. You can admire A-Su as well!

Qin Su: I will be flattered, chief cultivator. 

Su she: *blush* I love how you and Huangdi coordinate with each other. You two are so elegant.

Qin Su: aw thank you.

Yao: Shanshan, you, always say the sweetest things.

Qin Su: hmm. So how are you, team dimple?

Xue yang: still simping over that hot husband of yours.

Su she: we're fine, Meng Furen.

Mo xuanyu: yea Jiejie. It's just Lan lips we got to deal with.

Qin Su: *cracking up* LAN LIPS?!! Zewu Jun is still around, hahaha.

Su she: he's like a rash that won't go away.

Mo xuanyu: Yao gege is our husband.

Qin Su: exactly.

Yao: poor Huan.

Qin Su: what do you mean?!

Yao: he has another competition.

Qin Su: he shouldn't bother competing, because I'm the empress, and the empress is the head of the harem.

Yao: oh dear. *shakes his head* holding on to your position already, A-Su.

I like.

Su she: the Huanghou we need!

Mo xuanyu: to save Yao gege from the clutches of Lan lips.

Xue yang: I'm sure Lan lips wants to be the empress or some prince consort.

Mo xuanyu: he's very sneaky.

Xichen: *Enters, and bows slightly* A-Yao huangdi.

Yao: Huan. *smile*

Xichen: welcome back, Meng Furen.

Qin Su: *glares*

Thank you.

Xue yang: why are you so sarcastic, lipsy?

Su she: I know you don't want to see Meng Furen.

Mo xuanyu: you're burning with jealousy.

Xichen: oh guys that's not true. I'm happy that she's back.

Anyways, A-Yao. I came to ask if you want to go on a caravan ride with me?

Yao: aww, certainly Huanhuan. I was actually planning to meet some of my citizens.

Qin Su: did you ask me to borrow my husband, Xichen?

Mo xuanyu: he's always rude, Su jiejie.

Xichen: pardon me, Meng Furen. May I borrow his majesty?

Qin Su: *rolls eyes*

If his majesty wants to.

Yao: ah, why do I have to be so flawless.

*clears throat* A-Su, I can't break Huan's heart, so I'll go out with him.

I love each concubine equally.

Qin Su: hmm you're right, Huangdi. And I agree with everything you do.

It's just that I don't like Xichen's smugness.

Xue yang: nah that's just his face.

Su she: he has a sword up his ass.

It's a Lan tradition.

Xichen: it was Wei gongzi and bichen! Wangji and I had no part to play in that.

Xue yang: but I believe Qiren did.

Mo xuanyu: that's why we don't see Ruohan with a sword.

Yao: *facepalms*

Xichen: if I don't ignore team dimple, I think I might qi deviate.

Qin Su: then qi deviate.

Team dimple: *cracking up*

Yao: *laughing* concubines, should I go with Huan?

Qin Su: *covers A-Yao's mouth* it's improper for you to ask permission, Huangdi.

Su she: Huangdi you have free will. *bow*

Yao: ahahaha, right.

I thought that it would cause an uproar if I go out with him for just a while.

Qin Su: ah, no Huangdi. And I'll keep everything under control in your harem.

Yao: lovely.

Xue yang: Jiggy, we have only ambushed Lan lips one time. We won't do it again.

Mo xuanyu: we promise.

Xichen: well that's good news.

Su she: consider yourself lucky.

Yao: wait, wait. *claps twice* I had just remembered that I bought this for you.

An attendant coming in with a little box, containing a diamond set~ completed with a necklace, a haircomb, a pair of earrinfs, two rings and a bracelet, as well as two golden hairpins.

Su she: wow.

Xue yang: bet you can buy a mansion with that set.

Mo xuanyu: Su jiejie, I'm so happy for you!

Qin Su: *heart melts* awww, Yao Huangdi, this is so pretty.

Omg! *blushing* you didn't need to.

Yao: so should I send back the fan outlined with pearls?

Qin Su: *blushing*  how could I ever reject your gift? I feel so bashful. Ahh.

Yao: no need.

Qin Su: you still pamper me.

Yao: of course.

Ah, see you soon, concubines. I'll be back shortly.

Huan, shall we?

Xichen: mn.

Yao: *smiling*

Qin Su: Bicao. Please put this in my room.

Bicao: sure Huanghou.

Mo xuanyu: awww, Yao gege loves you!

Su she: my Huangdi's is so kind.

And I bet you'll look beautiful in them.

Xue yang: you slay!

Qin Su: thank you team dimple.

So surprising that you're nice to someone.

Mo xuanyu: you're our empress and head of the harem.

Su she: and equivalent to Huangdi.

Qin Su: aw, means a lot team dimple 

Mo xuanyu: so you want you want us to do anything?

Qin Su: later on I want you to organise refreshments for when Huangdi is back.

Su she: good idea.

We'll put everything in place.

Qin Su: right. But for now, let's go have some tea or something.

Mo xuanyu: sounds fun, Su jiejie!

Qin Su: Minshan.

Su she: *blush* yes Huanghou.

Qin Su: you were the head of the harem in my absence?

Su she: yea. Actually team dimple were.

Qin Su: don't worry. You'll soon be the heads of A-Yao's simps, hence I won't replace you. But you know the hierarchy of the harem.

Su she: ah I know that you won't replace team d. And we must report to you on how we please Huangdi.

Qin Su: mhm. So how were things in the harem?

Su she: could be better, but Huangdi is pleased so there's no problem.

Mo xuanyu: if the nies and Xichen were acting differently~~

Xue yang: and ask team dimple for advice.

Mo xuanyu: then the harem would be perfect!

Qin Su: I agree.

Is Huaisang behaving himself?

Su she: so far.

Xue yang: we have an eye on everyone who is a threat to Jiggy.

Qin su: ok, good job! As expected of you three.

I don't have to worry about you misbehaving. *smile*

Mo xuanyu: nah, we're madly in love with Yao gege.

Qin Su: delightful.

~

*having tea*

Mo xuanyu: mmmm.

Xue yang: needs a tongue.

Su she: delicious tea, Meng Furen.

Qin su: thanks to Bicao. She makes the best tea.

Bicao: you're welcome, Huanghou and team dimple.

Qin Su: so far I love how the harem is going.

You know, we must move as one unit, as we have the same goal. To serve and adore our Huangdi.

Xue yang: yea you're right. Jiggy is a hella hot overlord.

Su she: and he deserves to be comfortable and pleased with everything. We don't let him lift a finger.

Mo xuanyu: Yao gege is our everything.

Qin Su: yes.

So what about my sons? You take good care of them?

Xue yang: of course we do! Songsong is our mini boss and Jingyi sometimes helps us do mischief.

Qin Su: ok then. Once they're safe.

And of course Song'er is your boss.

Mo xuanyu: my nephews are in safe hands, jiejie.

Qin Su: good to hear, A-yu!

Su she: forgive me. But I didn't like Jingyi before Huangdi adopted him. Both of us never used to agree.

He used to call me a talentless fake who had betrayed the lan sect, and tried to impersonate Hanguang Jun.

Qin su: oh.

Su she: but I get to like him now, as he's a part of Huangdi's family.

Qin Su: sorry to hear that, Minshan. But is the disagreement gone?

Su she: yes. Huangdi told him to respect team dimple. And he had realised the culture of the Meng family.

However we don't really talk as much.

Qin Su: alright. It's good that he doesn't insult you again.

Lan or Meng, he should respect his elders.

Su she: mn.

And Huangdi had made everything so much better!

He's brilliant.

Qin Su: *smiles*

Xue yang: I'm bored.

Mo xuanyu: jiejie, jiejie. Can we ambush Lan lips?

Su she: you know the nature of our team dimple.

Qin Su: what is he doing so long with my husband?

Yea, go spy on him!

Team d: hehehehehehehehe.

Qin Su: *sips tea again* darn lan lips.

[luvutothemoon]

Bridget Ann Foster-Riley. “Brie” for short

Her face claim is Josie Foster

She usually has her hair short. Usually mid neck or shorter, but will occasionally let it grow past her shoulders. Only to spontaneously chop it off

Her natural color is dark brown, but she dyes it to light brown (after she’s had fun with unnatural colors. See bright pink hair for 3 years)

She has a PhD in psychology!

She’s a psychologist who isn’t afraid to psychoanalyze you whenever she sees fit

She takes summer classes, and gets her undergraduate 1996, a year before expected. She does a two year masters (of science) program, bringing her studies up to 1998. 2002, she finally gets her doctorate, although she had been working in the psychology field since her undergraduate program

{{ that was very hard to figure out, as no college sites etc would give me a definite answer on the number of courses needed. And if they did, it would be credited hours, and I wasn’t going to break that down. So I just decided to have her do five courses per semester, which is why she’s always up to 2 AM }}

She first met Linda in college, where they were roommates in the dorm. They moved into an apartment together, and stayed roommates until four months after Linda got married

Yes, this means she was roommates with Danny for four months. He hated it, she loved teasing him and Linda about being “newlyweds” (iykyk)

She may or may not have a crush on Danny and Linda (yes, both of them. Don’t tell them)

Her parents divorced when she was eleven, and her Dad remarried when she was thirteen

She is a feminist! And is not afraid to call out sexist bullshit

She isn’t afraid of intimidating men. In fact, she likes to challenge them

In that regard, she’s like a chihuahua. She will take on things three times her size without question and total confidence

She’s been accused of sleeping with one of her professors. (She didn’t.)

She has an older brother Buddy and a younger sister Alecia. Buddy works in the mines/heads up a company and Alecia is a world class gymnast

She was married for a year and a half, but then her husband died (😭)

She elopes with a Jewish man named Harry Goldblum in early 2004. She doesn’t take his last name, but she really loves him because she doesn’t eat bacon anymore at home. (Which results in a lot of Starbucks breakfast sandwiches before work in her car/office because she needs her bacon)

She is bi, and falls right in the middle of the spectrum. Although, according to her, she changes who she’s attracted to depending who she’s pissed at at the moment.

She hates Jack Boyle’s guts

She thinks all the Reagans are hot

She thinks the Goldblums are all hot too

She is smart and quick witted

She isn’t sure if she encourages or discourages cheese jokes

She and Linda have matching Chinese symbol tattoos on their ankles. She also has a little wheel of Brie cheese and grapes

{{ and others, and you can check out my story on that. As soon as I find the damn file, I’ll add a chapter for the tattoos }}

She heals her inner child after getting married and proceeds to get as many dogs as Harry allows her to. Currently, the most dogs they’ve had at once is 5. Harry won’t go over 5, and he thinks 5 is too much anyway

Brie is trying to convince him to get her a dachshund this year.

She likes pretty much any music, but her favorite band is Fleetwood Mac

Brie is a plant lady. “Brie, we don’t need any more plants. It’s like a greenhouse in here!”